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Archive for the ‘Ramblings’ Category

Higher, further, faster…more

I cried reading a comic book yesterday. In public. At a bakery/coffee shop. Granted, I’ve been doing a lot of crying lately (mostly the good kind!), but still, I was not expecting to cry whilst reading Captain Marvel. But I did. And I want to talk about why.

I’ve put off a lot of things in my life because I felt I wasn’t ready for them. I had to get A, B, and C in order before I could attempt X, Y or Z. NEWSFLASH: Life doesn’t happen in alphabetical order. It’s a bit ridiculous to think that you have to put your life on hold until you have certain things figured out. I have prayed for a pause button for my life, and at the ripe old age of almost 29, I think I’ve finally accepted the fact that I’m never getting one (dammit).

It’s been a weird year. Honestly, it’s been a weird past three years. It wasn’t until this summer that I realized just how not myself I have been. It’s like polishing silver–you think it’s just a tiny speck of tarnish, but once you clean and polish it until it’s shining like it’s brand new, you look at the polishing cloth and realize it’s filthy and you wonder, how did you not see how dirty it was? How did you ever think that tarnished piece of silver was what it was supposed to look like?

Captain Marvel Stars

Okay, but what does this all have to do with Captain Marvel? Well, a while back, Carol Danvers made a choice to save the world, and in doing so, she lost her memories (that is the short version, I highly recommend reading The Enemy Within arc for the whole story). It was tramautic and it’s something the character and her friends have been dealing with since then. Carol knows who she is: she’s Captain Marvel, she has alien super-powers, and she’s an Avenger. But she doesn’t really know what that means. She’s a little broken.

At the end of issue 17, hundreds stand with Carol Danvers and proclaim “I AM CAPTAIN MARVEL” to save her from the bad guy; a small kid who considers herself the sidekick is giving Carol lessons on how to be Captain Marvel, and we’re shown a tease of someone who has been inspired by Captain Marvel and her actions. And yeah, that made me cry. Because there are times you can’t save yourself, you need others to help you out. Occasionally you don’t know who you are or what that means–you need someone to remind or teach you. And sometimes, you can be broken and still inspire someone.

Captain Marvel Feels

I know who I am, more so than ever before, but I don’t always know what that means. Sometimes I feel a little broken. And I think, how can I sit down and write a book for teenagers when I can’t do basic adult things like put away my laundry or buy food at the grocery store? How can I give advice to someone on friendship when I am so very bad at being a friend myself? Why would anyone listen to me about anything?

But I don’t have to have it all figured out. I can be a little broken and still encourage others. I can still write. I’m not an Avenger (dammit). I’m not Carol Danvers. But I can still punch holes in the sky.

Christine H.

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NaWri15Mo

National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) is nigh upon us. The past several years I’ve taken my best shot at writing 50,000 words in November. I have failed miserably. It’s okay. I’ve either jumped on at the last second with the barest idea of a story in my head, or I’ve casually approached it. “Sure, I’ll give it a go. Maybe I will. Maybe I won’t.” Perhaps some people can use the word “maybe” in conjunction with NaNoWriMo and come out at the end of November with 50,000 words, but I am not that person. And since I am trying to be more honest with myself, although I WANT to be that person who “wins”, I know it’s not gonna happen this year. November is too busy with birthdays and holidays and I am just not prepared for this.

WHAT DO YOU KNOW, JON SNOW?!

shut up Jon Snow, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!

But, I still kinda want to join in with all the NaNoWriMo fun. So I’m doing my own thing. I’m going to write for fifteen minutes every day in November. That’s it. Not an hour, not even half an hour: FIFTEEN MINUTES. Fifteen minutes is completely reasonable. I can even write for fifteen minutes on Thanksgiving.

SO. WHO WANTS TO JOIN ME?!

“Hmmm, this sounds like a good idea and 15 minutes is doable, but I still want a prize or something.”

WELL HAVE I GOT GOOD NEWS FOR YOU! As an incentive, I will be giving out gifs every day you write at least 15 minutes. Because gifs are the best. Look, I even made a Tumblr for it. I’ll post the gif-of-the-day on Tumblr, and you can reblog it once you write your 15 minutes.

“But Chrissssstttiiiinnneeee, I’m not on Tumblr.”

Fine. You can tell me on Twitter and I will send you the gif there. If I love you I will probably do that anyway. It will probably even be personalized.

“I’m not on Twitter.”

I don’t know why you’re here then. Do I even know you?

“But what if I write 15 minutes EVERY DAY in November? WHAT IS MY GRAND PRIZE, CHRISTINE?”

I DON’T KNOW I’M STILL WORKING ON IT MAYBE A PERSONALIZED VINE BECAUSE I AM GREAT AT MAKING REALLY DUMB VINES.

There. I think that’s all. If you want to join me for NaWri15Mo, leave a comment or tell me on Twitter. LET’S HOLD EACH OTHER ACCOUNTABLE AND ENCOURAGE EACH OTHER AND LET’S MAKE STUFF AND WIN PRETTY PRETTY GIFS, OKAY? Okay.

ATTENTION ATTENTION THIS IS NEW STUFF I HAVE EDITED TO ADD THIS IMPORTANT NEW INFORMATION

OKAY SO YOU PEOPLE WANT TO DO THIS THIS IS GREAT THIS IS AWESOME I AM EXCITED!

FIRST OFF–you should go sign up here.

Two–visit this post for more info and answers to FAQ.

Thirdly–Here is a blog badge/button complete with the code you need to put it on your blog/website. Proclaim your NaWri15Mo participation and be inspired by Robert Preston leaning and pointing his finger at you.

NaWri15Mo
<div align="center"><a href="https://aramblingfancy.wordpress.com/2013/10/29/nawri15mo/" title="NaWri15Mo"><img src="http://media.tumblr.com/558726e06a5809a703ed545b3ba38fde/tumblr_mvgz0vmwvF1smd25ro1_250.gif" alt="NaWri15Mo" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

Okay I for reals think that is it. YAY LET US DO THIS THING!

Christine H.

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Ramon Casas i Carbó, After the Ball

Instead, all I got is this picture of an oil painting.

What up, Internet. How goes it? How do we feel about capitalizing “internet”?

I told you I didn’t know what to write.

Here’s the thing, there is too much to say. So let me sum up.

I feel like I’ve lost myself these past few years. Or more honestly, I realize and acknowledge I have lost myself a bit the past few years. And I’m slowly getting back to me. Or rather, I’m slowly going forward towards me? I mean, I’ve changed, so I can’t go back entirely, but I feel like I’m working towards getting the essential bits of Christine back. And part of that is writing. And blogging. And I want to do it, I just don’t know if I have the words. Or sometimes I have the words, but I don’t want to do it. You know what I mean?

I don’t have the words today, and I don’t really feel like I should be doing this today, but when the hell else am I supposed to start something? When my to-do list is checked off and all my “to-read” books have been marked as “read” on GoodReads and I feel content and accomplished and my Netflix queue is clear and I don’t have a sewing project I should be doing and my room is clean and tidy? I don’t live in an Instagram fantasy world, do you? I’m just sitting at my desk, staring out the window, except it’s nighttime so I’m really just staring at a reflection of myself and if I wanted to make some kind of meaningful metaphor from it I probably could, but that is so boring.

I ran out of words. I’ll see you on the Twittersphere.

~ME

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Thoughts from my Couch

(Actually, I think a better title for this post would be “THOUGHTS AND CONFESSIONS ON FRIENDSHIP FROM THE COUCH WHILST WEARING SWEATPANTS, GROMIT SLIPPERS, AND A 27 YEAR OLD DISNEYLAND SWEATSHIRT“. But that didn’t fit in the Title Box)

I have been a terrible friend this year. No, don’t try to tell me otherwise. It’s true. I have known what a terrible friend I have been, but the longer I left emails unanswered and let packages sit, waiting to be mailed, the guiltier I felt and the longer I let them sit and left them unanswered. It has been a vicious cycle. I probably still owe you, dear reader, a letter, email, FaceTime chat, or text. I’m sorry.

This morning I stumbled upon a blog and was skimming through the posts when I saw the phrase “intentional in their friendship” (or something like that). There it is again! That word, intentional. It seems to be popping up a lot in my thoughts and reading lately, and it got me thinking. Again. Ugh, thinking is hard and borrrrriiiinnnnggggg (Boring: A word Christine likes to use when she doesn’t want to do something because she is lazy/doesn’t want to be an adult).

Friendship is hard and it takes work. “Duh, Christine.” Look, I know you know this, and I know I knew this, but sometimes I forget what I know and I have to learn it over again. See, I often picture friendship as something that goes like this:

Girl One loves A, B and C.

Girl Two loves  A, B and C.

The two meet.

“You love A, B and C? I LOVE A, B AND C!”

“WOW! We also seem to have that ineffable chemistry that makes for great friendships—let’s be friends!”

They hold hands and skip off into the land of Friendship is Magic, populated by Anne & Diana’s and Betsy & Tacy’s where everything is wonderful and everyone knows what to say and when to say it and they know when you need to talk and they know when to make you talk and when to listen and it’s all buttercups and roses and they are friends forever THE END.

That is absurd.

I’ve been sitting here, writing and re-writing this post, trying to figure out what it is I feel and what I’m trying to say. And I realized I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, because I’m still trying to figure this all out. I could save this as a draft and wait until my thoughts are more coherent, but here is the thing—I’m tired of waiting until I have all this figured out. In the past two years I have come to truly understand that life does not have a pause button and you can’t wait to sort out This before you move forward with That—you have to do That in the midst of the mess of This. And so I’m going to be a little more open and raw on this here bloggy blog. Maybe we can all talk things through and learn and grow together instead of just, I don’t know, reading how I went from point 1 to 2 to 3 and now it is all grand, leave me happy comments!

All this to say that friendship takes work, and I have been selfish and maybe a little lost this year and I am sorry for that. Truly. I don’t want to take any of my dear friends for granted or make them feel like I’m ignoring them for other friends or activities. Maybe we need to encourage one another to be intentional with our friendships—schedule FaceTime chats, set aside an hour tonight to reply to that email instead of just saying “Oh, I’ll get to it eventually. They know I love them.” Sure, they may know it in their hearts, but sometimes being reminded of this, whether by saying the actual words or through your actions, can make someone feel really, really good. And I’m pretty sure making someone else feel good is a part of friendship.

Let’s go be intentional!

P.S. I love you.

 

 

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Twitter pal, fellow Newsies lover and book blogger Kim of Reflections of a Book Addict recently tagged me in post in which she asked me and other bloggers questions about books and other randoms. I’m supossed to tag eleven other bloggers and come up with eleven new questions, but guys, I’ve had this in my drafts for over a week, so I’m just going to publish this now, okay? If you want to answer these questions on your own blog, please do and let me know! I’ll read it and tell you I think you’re swell. Because if you are still reading my blog, you are indeed a lovely, lovely person.

What is the one book you recommend to people over and over?

 Persuasion for everyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice is the only book Jane Austen wrote. I am also working to spread the gospel of YA books and have been shoving The Queen’s Thief series by Megan Whalen Turner in the face of everyone I know.

Why did you start blogging?

I was bored with a lot of time on my hands. Hahaha, okay, that is only partially true. I had been reading blogs for a few years and I decided I wanted to join in with all the fun. I’m glad I did. I would have never met Kate and Kate is swell.

If you had all the money in the world and could travel to ONE place, where would it be and why?

ONE place—just one? Kim, why are you trying to kill me? I have a bad case of Wanderlust and would be happy to travel anywhere in the world (and universe, once that option becomes available). But if I can only choose ONE, it has to be Egypt. I have been in love with that place since I was a tiny baby Christine and I would happily spend months traveling up and down the Nile, visiting museums and archaeological sites and tombs and markets and OH MY GOSH SOMEONE TAKE ME THERE RIGHT NOW.

Who is your favorite author?

AustenDickensTolkienWallace. Can you imagine what that book would look like? It would probably be so amazing you would go insane once you finished it because you couldn’t handle its genius. I just figured out what the Infinite Jest is—a film adaptation of the book written by AustenDickensTolkienWallace.

Since I can’t pick one all-time favorite, I’ll say that my favorite living author at the moment is John Green. Not only for his books (one day, maybe I’ll write about how much I loved The Fault in Our Stars and what it means to me), but for the community he and his brother Hank have fostered over on the YouTubes. I wish the Nerdfighter community had been around when I was a teenager, but I am so happy and thankful it exists today for the teens I know. I have mad respect for that man and I think he’s cool.

If you had to give your blog a color to describe it, what color would you give it?

Green with white polka dots. My blog is a print.

What book started your love of reading?

Probably this book.

I literally can’t remember a time I did not love to read. Thanks Mom.

What is your favorite genre to read?

Books about books. That one goes out to The Brother.

Is there a film adaptation that you think was better than the book? What film?

I can’t think of one. I do think the film version of The Virgin Suicides is the perfect companion to the book.

Where is your favorite place to read?

I’m partial to the couch in The Brother’s house whilst he and BFF X play video games. Otherwise, I’m quite fond of my bed, under the covers. Or on a bench outside. Actually, I don’t think I have a favorite place to read. Wait—at the box office when I’m working, because then I am getting paid to read and I feel like I’m living the dream.

What is your favorite guilty pleasure read?

Re-reads of books I love and know by heart. There are so many books out there I have yet to read, so I do sometimes feel guilty for reading Harry Potter for the 20th time. But it makes me happy, so oh well. Who cares.

Do you prefer solids or e-books?

Solids. I am learning to like ebooks and I enjoy checking ebooks out of the library, but I still prefer to carry around a physical book.

That was fun Kim! Now if anyone has books they want to recommend me, leave a comment! You know I always need new books to read.

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Dearest Darling Dickens

Don’t looked so shocked. You knew I would be back. And look, I’ve written twenty blog posts in my brain—I just haven’t transcribed them to the Interenets yet. Give me time. I’m down to two jobs now and the holiday season is behind us, so we’ll have plenty of free time. That noise you just heard was the universe laughing at me.

Once upon a time, Christine was twelve. It such a long time ago. I had a pen pal and she lived in New Zealand. We were both homeschooled and our mom’s decided we should read a book together for school or something. Honestly, the details are a little fuzzy, and maybe I was thirteen, but regardless a book was chosen and that book was David Copperfield by Charles Dickens.

Dickens AKA The Love of My Life

You might have heard of him.

Anyways, I read David Copperfield and I fell in love. I fell in love with the characters, the language, and the beautiful, wonderful, rambling sentences that only Dickens could write. Seriously, the man could go on and on and I love to read him go on and on and it may be where I picked up my rambling tendencies and maybe, just maybe, that is why I had to name my blog something with the word “rambling” in it. Because that is what I do and I learned from the best.

The first Dickens I bought was David Copperfield. It was a lovely vintage edition that was part of a massive set that was on sale at the local Half-Price bookstore. I saved up my babysitting money and would go back and pick out another book from the set to add to my collection (or coerced my mom into buying them for me, like I said, my brain is a little fuzzy on the factual details). But one day I returned to find they rest had all been bought! Oh the sadness. The OCD part of my brain was heartbroken to know I would not able to have a complete and matching set.

And then a lovely illustrated copy of A Tale of Two Cities was bought for another English assignment. When I visited my pen pal in New Zealand when I was fifteen, I bought five Dickens books that were compact, soft-bound leather, with the tinest print and perfect for carrying around whilst traveling. And that is when my ecclectic, mis-matched, vintage Dickens book collection really began. Now, whenever I travel, I check out used bookstores for old and interesting copies of Dickens work to add to my collection. I added Sketches by Boz on another trip to Auckland and Nicholas Nickleby was picked up…in Texas, somewhere. When I visit the Strand in March with Kate (because that is happening, I’ll tell you about it later), I’ll be sure to look for a copy of Great Expectations, because I really can’t believe I don’t already own a copy.

My Dickens Collection

I know I’m a day late, but I want to wish my beloved Dickens a very happy 200th birthday. I wish he was still around to celebrate it with me. I do love him so.

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Making Christmas

Dear Readers, I know.

“CHRISTINE! Halloween was only two days ago!”

Yes, I realize this but–

“IT’S NOT EVEN ANYWHERE NEAR THANKSGIVING!”

Hey now–I’ll have you know that Thanksgiving (AKA The Greatest Holiday That Is Not the Fourth of July) is a mere twenty-two days away! So that argument is invalid.

“CHRISTINE!”

I KNOW! Believe me, I know. But guess what? As a girl working THREE jobs with a list full of people living overseas whose packages have to be mailed early in November to ensure delivery by Christmas, it is NOT, in fact, too early to be thinking about Christmas.

“Uggggggghhhhh–”

Quit your moaning! Look, you can skip this post and come back to it the end of November if it makes you happy. Okay?

“Okay.”

As I was saying…

As a girl working three jobs with a list full of people living overseas whose packages have to be mailed early in November to ensure delivery by Christmas–I have to start Christmas shopping early. Which I don’t mind at all. I LOVE buying people gifts. It’s honestly one of my favorite things to do. If I won the lottery, after I bought a bunch of real estate, traveled the world and put half of what was left in savings, I would probably spend the other half buying gifts for the people I love. Wouldn’t that be amazing? But I digress.

This year I miraculously finished shopping for my BFF & little nephew in New Zealand absurdly early and was ready to wrap everything up by mid-October. That is when I discovered not only was there no Christmas wrapping paper to be found in my house, but there was no Christmas wrapping paper to buy in the stores either. Well, there wasn’t any Christmas paper in the three stores I went to one Tuesday night. So, I did what a girl in the Year of Making Do would do—I improvised. Call me smug, but I like my version way more than any paper I could’ve bought.

Making ChristmasArmed with coupon for Michael’s (seriously, if you buy something at Michael’s for full price, you are doing something wrong) I bought a large roll of plain brown craft paper. I pulled out my box of Christmas related craft goodies I picked up last year on clearance (most of it from Martha Stewart—man, do I love her stuff) and decorated the plainly wrapped presents with stickers, crafty tape and glitter. Lots of glitter.

Making ChristmasIn lieu of tags, I wrote the first initial of the recipient in glitter (or microbeads). The above is my favorite. Simple yet oh so pretty. I had so much fun wrapping and crafting that I will definitely do it for the rest of my presents this year. Thankfully, I have enough glitter to go around.

Happy crafting!

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