First, I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas. Mine was very small and quiet, but that is the way I like it. There shall be a proper Christmas post later, because right now I want to direct your attention to the calendar. Readers, I’m not sure if you are aware of this, but there is only a few days left in the year 2010. Sooooo, you might want to hurry up and read those 97 books left on your list (seriously, I only have 4 books to reach my goal of fifty, so I checked three YA books out from the library–I CAN DO THIS).
Long time readers will recall that back in January I dubbed 2010 “The Start of Something New”. And while that was true for the first half of the year, somewhere around August it turned into “The Start of Something Old But In A New and Different Way”…or something like that. In an effort to save money, I rented out my room in my house and moved back with my parents. I got a second job. I began the (for lack of a better word/term) the reconciliation process with someone I hadn’t spoken to in over four years and who I honestly thought I would never speak to again. There were a few other ups and downs, but ever since August I confess I’ve been a bit out of sorts. I feel like in certain areas of my life I’ve taken huge steps forward and in others I’ve practically galloped backwards (if such a thing was possible).
So when Sarah asked in early December what one word might describe our year, I was at a loss. I knew what I had wanted 2010 to be, I had goals and ideas and so much I wanted to accomplish—yet here I was, of my own volition, back in the room I lived in when I was 18. It was a disheartening feeling. In the weeks since first reading that post, I’ve given a lot of thought to what that word might be for me. And somehow, in re-reading blog posts, journal entries and recalling the events of the past year—I’m suddenly okay with it all. I don’t feel as if I’m exactly where I belong, but for the first time in a very long time, I feel like I’m on the road to that mystical place of belonging.
Unexpected is my word for 2010. I’m still thinking about what I want my word for 2011 to be. But I’ve got a bit more time to figure that one out.