Are you familiar with the story “The Gift o the Magi”? You know, the story of a couple in love who are desperately poor, selling their own beloved treasure (her hair and his watch) to buy a gift for the other (a watch chain and hair combs) because they are unselfish and so very in love. It is a very touching story. Ahem. I present to you a similar (not really) story.
The Gift of the Wragg
Once, in a city called Austin, there lived a brother and a sister. They were fond of each other and enjoyed buying gifts the other was sure to love and adore. The brother especially loved being surprised with a present he had never requested. One Christmas, the sister decided to buy her brother a print from one of their favorite artists. She thought this print was especially clever as the brother was a musician. “He shall hang it on his wall for inspiration!” she thought.
The sister waited anxiously for the print to arrive. A week went by and still she had not heard anything. Finally, 10 days after placing her order, she heard it was on its way and would arrive in time for Christmas. She breathed a sigh of relief knowing she would not have to relive the disaster of Christmas ’05. The sister confidently crossed the brother off her list and went on with her Christmas shopping.
Then, five days before Christmas she received an email from the artist of the print she had ordered. It seemed a person with the same last name and address had just ordered the very same print she had. Was this a mistake? Did they really want two of the same prints? Did we want to swap for another print? The sister was confused. She cautiously probed the brother for an answer.
“Show me what you got Christmas shopping today!”
“Umm, okay. Here. I got this for mom. Do you think she’ll like it?”
“Oh yeah, it’s perfect! What else?”
“I got this for dad.”
“Oh cool. It’s nice.”
“Yeah, I know. And I got this for Xavier, ’cause he wanted it.”
“Hahaha, oh that Xavier. He is so silly. Sooooo, did you buy anyone anything else?”
“No? Nothing? You didn’t buy anything else today?”
The sister faced a difficult conundrum. Either the brother had bought the print for her, which seemed unlikely, as she was not a musician and had proclaimed her love for the yeti impaling the hiker print—-or he had bought it for himself. Whichever the case, she had no choice but to give her gift early and let the brother explain his purchase.
“Happy Early Christmas!”
“Am I supposed to open this now?”
“Because. You’ll see.”
The sister waited anxiously while the brother unwrapped and opened the gift.
“Sooooo why did I have to open this today?”
“Nate Wragg emailed me and said you bought the same print.”
“Who did you buy it for?”
“WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT FIVE DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS?!?”
“IT WAS ON SALE AND I LIKED IT! At least you can say you know me well.”
“Yes, well, I am glad you like it, Merry Christmas! I’m going to email Nate Wragg and tell him no, we don’t want two of the same prints–my brother is just a dumbass and buys stuff for himself five days before Christmas.”
Merry Early Christmas, Daniel!